Life Recently (1)

Hi All!

Please bear with me on hearing me say this: it's-been-a-while-since-my-last-post lol. My last post was actually about my essay for my NUS class, which dated back to 2016, and I posted it in 2017 (I know right!!!)

A lot of things happened during those 2 years, IN FACT, I got married this year with this aweso0oooo000ome guy whom I met during my first job back in Bandung. Check out his blog: http://muzavan.wordpress.com/ haha I don't know why I'm promoting his blog anyway considering my own blog must be like a graveyard with no visitor.

Recently I've been trying to explore activities I enjoy outside work and was also wondering why do I keep pulling my self out from social media (other than Twitter, probably). For those of you who don't know:

I don't have Instagram

There you have it. It must be not a big deal for some but I've been hearing a lot of my friend saying: "ya ampun ini tahun 20XX lo masih aja belom punya Instagram Den", "Ih millenial bukan sih lo", "Terus lo catch up atau cari-cari info terbaru dari mana", "Kalo misalnya pengen ngestalk gimanah"

Lols I literally can't even keep a straight face every time someone asking what my Instagram account was. Now that I've realized, it's not like I owe them anything anyway for not giving them any chance to peek into my life feeds haha. But being the usual want-to-please-Denisa, I usually always feel obligated to tell them the reason behind my absent on Instagram. Such excuse like "I don't think I'll be able to handle myself spending so much time looking through those feeds", "My life so dull I don't even have Instagram worthy material to post", "I'll be spending a lot my time thinking how miserable my life is"

HA. Kudos to my self-deprecating humor trying to mask my insecurities for not having an Instagram account. The last 2 excuses are the real reasons though. I once trying to be questioning-what-is-the meaning-of-life and said "I don't think I like the idea of what social media have, letting stranger seeing through your life that easy and making yourself into an open book?" Then my colleague told me "Well you can just make your account private" HAHA st0o0pid woman, I said to myself

Now I think, probably the real reason was I don't like to deal with my own insecurity. I've been spending my life throughout school till uni comparing myself with my peers, whether I am fitting, academically successful, or have an achievement or not. Logging in to Instagram force me to this hard reality that other people live could be more enjoyable than mine. And then I have to feel bad about my blunt and so dull life. Having that in mind, I still think it's best for me not to have one though. I might be isolated from all the news that my friends have, but it's okay, I also learn only those who really close with you will catch up with you some other time, be it via Whatsapp or meet up.

The disadvantage is that I can't recall any of my life milestone from Instagram posts though like others have.

So here I am, trying to write again after all these years (yaelah baru berapa taon) to keep in touch more with my inner self (uhuy). It's nice seeing how yourself change through your own writing (this blog still have my 10th-grade writing!!!). So expect me to write some  more after this yaps.

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